It's a good thing my self esteem isn't dependent on my 6 year old

Minding my own business.

Sydney: Your teeth are kind of yellowish.

Me: Yeah, my teeth are kind of yellowish.

Sydney: They're like the color of pee.

All righty then.

Oh, Tyler

Driving home from school.

Tyler, laughing: Did you see that dog hanging out the window?

Me: No, I missed it.

Tyler: I want to have a dog and train it to stick its head out the window and be my turn signal.

Me: Like doing the arm signals?

Tyler: Yes! That would be so awesome!

That would be pretty awesome.

~

Random moment.

Tyler to Kenzie: Ever wish you were a noodle?

Blank look from Kenzie.

Tyler: So it's just me?

Yeah, pretty sure it's just you.

~

Primping for school.

Tyler: I feel like my head's like a balloon. If I squash down the sides, the top goes up. If I squash down the top, the sides go out.

I feel like that about my entire body.

~

At the dinner table.

Tyler: Awww, my green beans are cold...like my soul.

Kenzie, deadpan between bites: You can say that again.

It's funny 'cause it's true.

~

After messing with mom.

Tyler: When I'm on my death bed, I'm going to write a book about all the ways to mess with people's minds and then pass it on to my grandchildren or something.

See, I told you.

~

Watching Pride and Prejudice---the part where Elizabeth storms upstairs after Lady C's visit.

Elise: Why is she so upset?

Me: Because that lady told her she wasn't good enough to marry her nephew.

Elise: Aren't they engaged though?

Me: Well, he asked her before, but she thought he was a jerk so she said no, and now she knows he isn't a jerk, but she doesn't know if he still wants to marry her.

Tyler: I had an experience like that once.

Oh, Tyler.

Day and night with Elise

Trying to drag her out of bed in the morning.

Elise, whining: The only reason I like to get up in the morning is to eat.

I'm with her.

~

Goodnight conversations.

Elise: Would you rather be stinky with good breath or smell good with bad breath?

Me: I think I'd rather smell good with bad breath 'cause you can always keep your mouth closed.

Elise: Yeah, me too.

What about you?

Kenzie's doodles

I have a hard time throwing away any of McKenzie's school papers because there are always hidden treasures on the back:




The other day I rescued one she'd been using for a bookmark from a library book right before we were going to return it. McKenzie thought it would be funny to leave it for the next person who checked out the book, but I didn't want to part with it. I think she's decided that might be her new thing, though---a McKenzie calling card in random library books. Wouldn't that just make your day?

Sometimes we forget how funny our 6 year old is

FYI.

Sydney: Boyfriends aren't supposed to burp in girlfriends' faces.

Sing it, sister.

~

Last year's kindergarten separation anxiety.

Sydney: I wish I could make two of myselves--one to go to school and one to follow you.

Yeah, uh, me too. A-hem.

~

This one's from last school year too.

Sydney: I want to pretend to be a dog--like after school or when I have free days or during Christmas break. But if you ever want to take me for a walk, could you take me inside so my clothes don't get all ruined and I don't get hurt? When I have clothes on when I'm a dog, just pretend that I don't have clothes on because people who put clothes on their dog are weird.

She really thought this thing through.

~


Mother-daughter time.

Sydney: I love you. I love you more than anyone in the world. I love you a thousand in my heart.

*Heart melting*

~

Sharing a donut.

Me: Do you want any more?

Sydney: No, my tummy's full from that granola bar I just had.

Me: I had a granola bar, too.

Sydney: And you can still eat more donut?

Me: Yeah, I'm a little piggy. *snort*

Sydney: Yeah, you're like an animal!

But she loves me a thousand in her heart!

~

Looking for the My Little Pony moms to go with the My Little Pony babies.

McKenzie: Do these ones even have moms?

Sydney: Yeah, everyone has moms. Except for hobos!

McKenzie: Hobos have moms.

Sydney: No they don't!

I think she figures they must not have moms since no one is taking care of them.

~

On our way home from the library, a car cuts in front of us in an intersection.

McKenzie: Woah! I'm so glad we didn't crash!

Sydney: Yeah, 'cause then we'd all be dead. And then we wouldn't be able to read our library books. That's a reason why it's good to not crash.

As good as any, I guess.

~

Overheard mid-conversation between Sydney and her doll.

Sydney: When you're a grown-up you don't play on the computer. You have to do important stuff like check your e-mail or play Scrabble.

Doll: Oh, I don't like Scrabble.

Sydney: See, wouldn't you like to be a kid still?

Yes, very important grown-up stuff.

~

Random moment.

Sydney: I can't feel my nostrils.

Hey, I can't feel mine either.

~

Getting ready for church, I pull out a hand-me-down denim jumper.

Me: Would you like to wear this today?

Sydney, giggling: Yes! That's so cute---it's like a lederhosen dress!

Me: laughing

Later that day...

Sydney: Remember when I said that thing about the lederhosen dress?

Me: Yes.

Sydney: That was funny.

Me: Yes, it was funny.

Sydney: You should write that down.

Good idea.