Holiday filmmaking

Being fortunate enough to live within just a few miles of family (my sister Kim and her family), we often find ourselves spending major holidays together. So what do you do when the cousins are all together? Make movies, of course.

These were both filmed, directed, produced and edited by my awesomely talented niece, Jessie Lohberg.

Thanksgiving 2008: McKenzie's Turkey Day Fatness, starring McKenzie




Easter 2009: Crushcrushcrush Music Video, starring Kara Lohberg, Jessie Lohberg, McKenzie, Elise and Sydney

Adventures in public restrooming

Some of you may not yet be aware of my love-hate relationship with the public restroom. Actually, it's more of a hate-hate relationship. :all over body shudder: Well, my dear friends, I'm about to tell you a tale so wild, so beyond the realm of good reason, so un-freaking-believable, that you will all most likely dismiss it as a dream or acid trip and call me a wacked-out delusional liar. But all I can tell you is it IS true. I lived it. If I hadn't experienced it myself, I'm certain I would not believe it either.

Just a few miles east of Boise, Idaho off the I-84 interstate you will find a beautiful oasis of public restroomery. I'm not even sure where to start. You walk into a building, a clean building with benches, gleaming benches free of grafitti, gum and other sticky substances of unknown origin. To the left and the right are doors. Many doors. Each leads to a sanctuary, your own private sanctuary where you can find the ultimate relief unhampered and untainted by fears of contact with foreign bodily fluids and invisible communicable diseases.

Floor to ceiling there is beautiful tile in natural stone hues. The floors are dry and free of any questionable debris. The toilet paper and toilet seat cover dispensers--fully stocked. Toilet flushing mechanism, sink faucet and hand dryer are all automated. The hand soap actually smells good. The hand dryer actually dries your hands. We always venture into the reststops as a group, my girls and I--safety in numbers, you know. So we were sharing this spacious handicap/family bathroom, and while Sydney was taking her turn, McKenzie was drying her hands. The hand dryer is mounted a good 7-8 feet away from the toilet on the opposite wall, yet while McKenzie was drying her hands, Sydney's hair was flying in the warm breeze, the toilet paper fluttering on its roll. And this warm breeze not only dried McKenzie's hands like that--like that!--but also circulated the most delightful aroma. It was like cinnamon bears or hot apple cider.

We hesitated to leave that place. We lingered at the door for just a moment wishing they could all be like this. A tear of joy welled up at the bottom of my eye as I tried to commit every detail to memory. Imagine it--a public restroom nicer than your own bathroom at home! I know, I know. But it's true. I swear it's true.

When we got back to the car, we told Nate and Tyler to prepare themselves for a very special experience. We waited.

Elise: I'm going to tell Tyler the toilet flushed 3 times while McKenzie was on it.

McKenzie: No you're not! It happened to me, Elise. I'm telling him!

Elise: It doesn't matter.

Nate and Tyler returned to the car.

Tyler: Those bathrooms rock!

Nate: Those were nice.

Tyler: Dad took pictures.

Me: Were yours tiled?

Nate: Yeah, they were all tiled...and cinnamony.

And then, as if order must be restored to our universe, when we tried to leave, our car wouldn't start. The battery was dead. We had to sit around for ten minutes, waiting for someone to come to the rest stop. At one point Nate said, "Man, for crying out loud, doesn't anybody need to use the bathroom?!" Finally, a lovely party of elderly travellers pulled up beside us. Nate asked for their assistance and they happily agreed. They only asked if they could please use the bathroom first. We eventually got on our way, but the minor inconvenience was well worth it. I would trade a working vehicle for a public restroom like that any day.

---

Other public restroom adventures.

McKenzie, getting out of the car: Do I look presentable?

Me: For the Burger King bathroom? Yeah.

---

Sharing a stall.

Elise, taking her turn: Shield your eyes!

Sydney, covering her eyes: Sheel yo eyes! And then peeking, Ew...a butt!

---

Coming back to the car.

Nate: Did you have fun?

Elise: Going to the bathroom?

More family random speak

At the dinner table.

Nate: You know, people in Chile eat chili because they’re chilly.

Elise: Chile isn’t a place.

After I finished rolling my eyes, I was sure to inform Elise that Chile is indeed a place.



First words out of Sydney's mouth Monday morning.

Syd: There’s a smile on my bottom. My armpit smells pizza.

Yo-kay.



Tyler gets random at the dinner table.

Tyler: Six is my favorite color of the alphabet.

I usually don’t bother responding.



Tyler has a new game he plays with his friends—one person supplies the answers, then the other person comes up with a question.

Tyler's answers:

A) 4
B) lick them
C) I don’t know
D) all of the above

His friend’s question: What do you do when a stranger walks up to you?

Hey, at least they’re not doing drugs. I think.



More at the table.

Me: Sydney looks old to me today for some reason.

Tyler: It’s probably that oreo ’stache.

Huh, that’s funny. I thought facial chocolate usually made you look younger.



More Tyler random at the dinner table.

Tyler: I like my chili like I like my women—chunky and meaty.

Me, looking at him, he’s giggling: Where’s that from?

He’s still giggling.

Me: Did you just make that up?

Tyler, still giggling: I’m a freak.

Yeah, but he’s my freak and I love him.