Minding my own business.
Sydney: Your teeth are kind of yellowish.
Me: Yeah, my teeth are kind of yellowish.
Sydney: They're like the color of pee.
All righty then.
Monday, October 3, 2011
It's a good thing my self esteem isn't dependent on my 6 year old
Minding my own business.
Sydney: Your teeth are kind of yellowish.
Me: Yeah, my teeth are kind of yellowish.
Sydney: They're like the color of pee.
All righty then.
Oh, Tyler
Driving home from school.
Tyler, laughing: Did you see that dog hanging out the window?
Me: No, I missed it.
Tyler: I want to have a dog and train it to stick its head out the window and be my turn signal.
Me: Like doing the arm signals?
Tyler: Yes! That would be so awesome!
That would be pretty awesome.
~
Random moment.
Tyler to Kenzie: Ever wish you were a noodle?
Blank look from Kenzie.
Tyler: So it's just me?
Yeah, pretty sure it's just you.
~
Primping for school.
Tyler: I feel like my head's like a balloon. If I squash down the sides, the top goes up. If I squash down the top, the sides go out.
I feel like that about my entire body.
~
At the dinner table.
Tyler: Awww, my green beans are cold...like my soul.
Kenzie, deadpan between bites: You can say that again.
It's funny 'cause it's true.
~
After messing with mom.
Tyler: When I'm on my death bed, I'm going to write a book about all the ways to mess with people's minds and then pass it on to my grandchildren or something.
See, I told you.
~
Watching Pride and Prejudice---the part where Elizabeth storms upstairs after Lady C's visit.
Elise: Why is she so upset?
Me: Because that lady told her she wasn't good enough to marry her nephew.
Elise: Aren't they engaged though?
Me: Well, he asked her before, but she thought he was a jerk so she said no, and now she knows he isn't a jerk, but she doesn't know if he still wants to marry her.
Tyler: I had an experience like that once.
Oh, Tyler.
Tyler, laughing: Did you see that dog hanging out the window?
Me: No, I missed it.
Tyler: I want to have a dog and train it to stick its head out the window and be my turn signal.
Me: Like doing the arm signals?
Tyler: Yes! That would be so awesome!
That would be pretty awesome.
~
Random moment.
Tyler to Kenzie: Ever wish you were a noodle?
Blank look from Kenzie.
Tyler: So it's just me?
Yeah, pretty sure it's just you.
~
Primping for school.
Tyler: I feel like my head's like a balloon. If I squash down the sides, the top goes up. If I squash down the top, the sides go out.
I feel like that about my entire body.
~
At the dinner table.
Tyler: Awww, my green beans are cold...like my soul.
Kenzie, deadpan between bites: You can say that again.
It's funny 'cause it's true.
~
After messing with mom.
Tyler: When I'm on my death bed, I'm going to write a book about all the ways to mess with people's minds and then pass it on to my grandchildren or something.
See, I told you.
~
Watching Pride and Prejudice---the part where Elizabeth storms upstairs after Lady C's visit.
Elise: Why is she so upset?
Me: Because that lady told her she wasn't good enough to marry her nephew.
Elise: Aren't they engaged though?
Me: Well, he asked her before, but she thought he was a jerk so she said no, and now she knows he isn't a jerk, but she doesn't know if he still wants to marry her.
Tyler: I had an experience like that once.
Oh, Tyler.
Day and night with Elise
Trying to drag her out of bed in the morning.
Elise, whining: The only reason I like to get up in the morning is to eat.
I'm with her.
~
Goodnight conversations.
Elise: Would you rather be stinky with good breath or smell good with bad breath?
Me: I think I'd rather smell good with bad breath 'cause you can always keep your mouth closed.
Elise: Yeah, me too.
What about you?
Elise, whining: The only reason I like to get up in the morning is to eat.
I'm with her.
~
Goodnight conversations.
Elise: Would you rather be stinky with good breath or smell good with bad breath?
Me: I think I'd rather smell good with bad breath 'cause you can always keep your mouth closed.
Elise: Yeah, me too.
What about you?
Kenzie's doodles
I have a hard time throwing away any of McKenzie's school papers because there are always hidden treasures on the back:
The other day I rescued one she'd been using for a bookmark from a library book right before we were going to return it. McKenzie thought it would be funny to leave it for the next person who checked out the book, but I didn't want to part with it. I think she's decided that might be her new thing, though---a McKenzie calling card in random library books. Wouldn't that just make your day?
The other day I rescued one she'd been using for a bookmark from a library book right before we were going to return it. McKenzie thought it would be funny to leave it for the next person who checked out the book, but I didn't want to part with it. I think she's decided that might be her new thing, though---a McKenzie calling card in random library books. Wouldn't that just make your day?
Sometimes we forget how funny our 6 year old is
FYI.
Sydney: Boyfriends aren't supposed to burp in girlfriends' faces.
Sing it, sister.
~
Last year's kindergarten separation anxiety.
Sydney: I wish I could make two of myselves--one to go to school and one to follow you.
Yeah, uh, me too. A-hem.
~
This one's from last school year too.
Sydney: I want to pretend to be a dog--like after school or when I have free days or during Christmas break. But if you ever want to take me for a walk, could you take me inside so my clothes don't get all ruined and I don't get hurt? When I have clothes on when I'm a dog, just pretend that I don't have clothes on because people who put clothes on their dog are weird.
She really thought this thing through.
~
Mother-daughter time.
Sydney: I love you. I love you more than anyone in the world. I love you a thousand in my heart.
*Heart melting*
~
Sharing a donut.
Me: Do you want any more?
Sydney: No, my tummy's full from that granola bar I just had.
Me: I had a granola bar, too.
Sydney: And you can still eat more donut?
Me: Yeah, I'm a little piggy. *snort*
Sydney: Yeah, you're like an animal!
But she loves me a thousand in her heart!
~
Looking for the My Little Pony moms to go with the My Little Pony babies.
McKenzie: Do these ones even have moms?
Sydney: Yeah, everyone has moms. Except for hobos!
McKenzie: Hobos have moms.
Sydney: No they don't!
I think she figures they must not have moms since no one is taking care of them.
~
On our way home from the library, a car cuts in front of us in an intersection.
McKenzie: Woah! I'm so glad we didn't crash!
Sydney: Yeah, 'cause then we'd all be dead. And then we wouldn't be able to read our library books. That's a reason why it's good to not crash.
As good as any, I guess.
~
Overheard mid-conversation between Sydney and her doll.
Sydney: When you're a grown-up you don't play on the computer. You have to do important stuff like check your e-mail or play Scrabble.
Doll: Oh, I don't like Scrabble.
Sydney: See, wouldn't you like to be a kid still?
Yes, very important grown-up stuff.
~
Random moment.
Sydney: I can't feel my nostrils.
Hey, I can't feel mine either.
~
Getting ready for church, I pull out a hand-me-down denim jumper.
Me: Would you like to wear this today?
Sydney, giggling: Yes! That's so cute---it's like a lederhosen dress!
Me: laughing
Later that day...
Sydney: Remember when I said that thing about the lederhosen dress?
Me: Yes.
Sydney: That was funny.
Me: Yes, it was funny.
Sydney: You should write that down.
Good idea.
Sydney: Boyfriends aren't supposed to burp in girlfriends' faces.
Sing it, sister.
~
Last year's kindergarten separation anxiety.
Sydney: I wish I could make two of myselves--one to go to school and one to follow you.
Yeah, uh, me too. A-hem.
~
This one's from last school year too.
Sydney: I want to pretend to be a dog--like after school or when I have free days or during Christmas break. But if you ever want to take me for a walk, could you take me inside so my clothes don't get all ruined and I don't get hurt? When I have clothes on when I'm a dog, just pretend that I don't have clothes on because people who put clothes on their dog are weird.
She really thought this thing through.
~
Mother-daughter time.
Sydney: I love you. I love you more than anyone in the world. I love you a thousand in my heart.
*Heart melting*
~
Sharing a donut.
Me: Do you want any more?
Sydney: No, my tummy's full from that granola bar I just had.
Me: I had a granola bar, too.
Sydney: And you can still eat more donut?
Me: Yeah, I'm a little piggy. *snort*
Sydney: Yeah, you're like an animal!
But she loves me a thousand in her heart!
~
Looking for the My Little Pony moms to go with the My Little Pony babies.
McKenzie: Do these ones even have moms?
Sydney: Yeah, everyone has moms. Except for hobos!
McKenzie: Hobos have moms.
Sydney: No they don't!
I think she figures they must not have moms since no one is taking care of them.
~
On our way home from the library, a car cuts in front of us in an intersection.
McKenzie: Woah! I'm so glad we didn't crash!
Sydney: Yeah, 'cause then we'd all be dead. And then we wouldn't be able to read our library books. That's a reason why it's good to not crash.
As good as any, I guess.
~
Overheard mid-conversation between Sydney and her doll.
Sydney: When you're a grown-up you don't play on the computer. You have to do important stuff like check your e-mail or play Scrabble.
Doll: Oh, I don't like Scrabble.
Sydney: See, wouldn't you like to be a kid still?
Yes, very important grown-up stuff.
~
Random moment.
Sydney: I can't feel my nostrils.
Hey, I can't feel mine either.
~
Getting ready for church, I pull out a hand-me-down denim jumper.
Me: Would you like to wear this today?
Sydney, giggling: Yes! That's so cute---it's like a lederhosen dress!
Me: laughing
Later that day...
Sydney: Remember when I said that thing about the lederhosen dress?
Me: Yes.
Sydney: That was funny.
Me: Yes, it was funny.
Sydney: You should write that down.
Good idea.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Halloween 2010 post mortem
Another holiday come and gone. 2010 disappeared right before my eyes!
The girls' costumes this year were pretty much all last minute decisions.
Fortunately for me, Sydney was content to recycle Elise's Cinderella costume from a few Halloween's past (the princess version, not the hobo version--this time):
The only thing I had to do for this costume was replace the brooch on the dress. Why are all Disney princess dresses made with a brooch featuring a picture of the princess? Who wears a brooch with a picture of themselves? It makes no sense. So I made a quick run to the craft store, and a piece of cardboard, some aluminum foil, duct tape, a safety pin and a few stick-on gems later, we had a quality piece of artisanship even the most discriminating 5 year old pretend princess would be proud to wear:
Elise was a little bit harder. She had her heart set on being Hobo Sleeping Beauty, which would be Sleeping Beauty in her non-princessy attire. I was not up for the Hobo Sleeping Beauty challenge, but after about a dozen costume ideas rejected, we finally settled on a magician.
I was originally going to construct her hat out of black posterboard (because we're ghetto like that---see aluminum foil princess brooch above), but after finding this authentic one (complete with bunny rabbit and secret disappearing compartment!) at the party store, I couldn't resist. I picked up the magic wand as well, but all the other elements we already had. Elise insisted that all magicians need a mustache. Originally, she wanted me to pick up a furry stick-on one in blonde because "it would look funny to have a black mustache with blonde hair!", but I talked her into penciling one on with black eyeliner. She looked adorable and she was so excited about her costume, which is kind of the point, I guess.
McKenzie was at a loss until I jokingly suggested Tyler's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume from like a decade ago. She was all over that idea. Obviously the green jumpsuit Tyler wore when he was four was not going to accommodate her 11 year old body, so I had to invest in a pair of green sweatpants. Everything else we already had, which is my favorite way to do costumes. I cannot begin to tell you how much I adore McKenzie's sense of humor and precocious sense of irony.
Friday afternoon Nate returned home from a weeklong business, and we spent a good portion of the evening chasing down the elusive carving pumpkin. Note to self: do not wait until the weekend of Halloween to purchase your pumpkins. We finally found some at the third grocery store.
P.S. I just realized I forgot to mention my Halloween scare! Halloween morning I was coming down the stairs all ready for church with my heels on and carrying my 3-piece luggage set (it's really just an assortment of totes, but that's what it feels like---the amount of stuff I cart to church is just ridiculous), when about halfway down I tripped, and skidded the rest of the way on my shins. It was perhaps my scariest Halloween moment ever. And maybe for my kids, as well. There may have been some screaming, and dare I admit, sobbing. I managed to escape with a 3 inch long bruise on my left forearm and a much smaller bruise and rugburn on my right shin, though both shins burned all the way to church and intermittently throughout the day. The incident left me shaken for most of the day, and it made me feel really old. I just may have to invest in a life alert necklace.
The girls' costumes this year were pretty much all last minute decisions.
Fortunately for me, Sydney was content to recycle Elise's Cinderella costume from a few Halloween's past (the princess version, not the hobo version--this time):
The only thing I had to do for this costume was replace the brooch on the dress. Why are all Disney princess dresses made with a brooch featuring a picture of the princess? Who wears a brooch with a picture of themselves? It makes no sense. So I made a quick run to the craft store, and a piece of cardboard, some aluminum foil, duct tape, a safety pin and a few stick-on gems later, we had a quality piece of artisanship even the most discriminating 5 year old pretend princess would be proud to wear:
Elise was a little bit harder. She had her heart set on being Hobo Sleeping Beauty, which would be Sleeping Beauty in her non-princessy attire. I was not up for the Hobo Sleeping Beauty challenge, but after about a dozen costume ideas rejected, we finally settled on a magician.
I was originally going to construct her hat out of black posterboard (because we're ghetto like that---see aluminum foil princess brooch above), but after finding this authentic one (complete with bunny rabbit and secret disappearing compartment!) at the party store, I couldn't resist. I picked up the magic wand as well, but all the other elements we already had. Elise insisted that all magicians need a mustache. Originally, she wanted me to pick up a furry stick-on one in blonde because "it would look funny to have a black mustache with blonde hair!", but I talked her into penciling one on with black eyeliner. She looked adorable and she was so excited about her costume, which is kind of the point, I guess.
McKenzie was at a loss until I jokingly suggested Tyler's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume from like a decade ago. She was all over that idea. Obviously the green jumpsuit Tyler wore when he was four was not going to accommodate her 11 year old body, so I had to invest in a pair of green sweatpants. Everything else we already had, which is my favorite way to do costumes. I cannot begin to tell you how much I adore McKenzie's sense of humor and precocious sense of irony.
All the girls before the church party:
Sydney's dance studio invited all the students to wear their costumes to class the week of Halloween. I didn't want to mess with the big Cinderella dress, so I had her dress in her usual ballet leotard and tutu and we added cat ears, a tail and whiskers. Sydney was a little put out that she would not be wearing her "real" costume to class and complained that everyone else would be fancier than she was. I figured there would be quite a few cat ears and painted on whiskers, but I was wrong. Pretty much every child was dressed to the hilt as princesses and fairies, strawberry shortcakes and rockstars. Everyone looked very sweet and very fancy, and I was feeling pretty guilty until I saw the 7 year old little darling with the bloody hockey mask, bloodied clothes and bloodied plastic butcher knife. The contrast was...startling.
Sydney as the feline ballerina:
Friday afternoon Nate returned home from a weeklong business, and we spent a good portion of the evening chasing down the elusive carving pumpkin. Note to self: do not wait until the weekend of Halloween to purchase your pumpkins. We finally found some at the third grocery store.
Sydney went with a Halloween classic, the cartoonized puppy, McKenzie stepped completely out of the box with a wacky face (she carved completely by herself), and Elise designed a cat silhouette that I promptly butchered, but she graciously proclaimed it her best jack-o-lantern ever.
So all in all, a successful holiday.
So all in all, a successful holiday.
P.S. I just realized I forgot to mention my Halloween scare! Halloween morning I was coming down the stairs all ready for church with my heels on and carrying my 3-piece luggage set (it's really just an assortment of totes, but that's what it feels like---the amount of stuff I cart to church is just ridiculous), when about halfway down I tripped, and skidded the rest of the way on my shins. It was perhaps my scariest Halloween moment ever. And maybe for my kids, as well. There may have been some screaming, and dare I admit, sobbing. I managed to escape with a 3 inch long bruise on my left forearm and a much smaller bruise and rugburn on my right shin, though both shins burned all the way to church and intermittently throughout the day. The incident left me shaken for most of the day, and it made me feel really old. I just may have to invest in a life alert necklace.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Spawn of Sumsion
This one was a while ago.
McKenzie: Do old people take baths or showers?
Me: I don't know. What made you think of that?
McKenzie: I don't know.
Me: It probably depends on how well they can stand.
McKenzie: What if they had to use their walkers in the shower? Maybe some do...wrapped in plastic.
"Wrapped in plaaastic."
~
Watching Tears for Fears' Mad World video.
Me: Check out his hair.
Tyler: He's got, like, an ushanka on his head.
Me: What's an ushanka?
Tyler: A Russian hat. Come on, Mom, learn your hats!
Me: Where did you learn that?
Tyler: I don't know. I think it was on Dora or something.
Obviously, I'm not watching enough Dora.
~
Tyler makes an important announcement.
Tyler: OK, everyone, Elise is no longer a Sumsion. She's watching Jonas.
Not Jonas! Oh, where did we go wrong??
~
Family togetherness.
McKenzie: The tops of your feet are soft.
Tyler: Stop feeling me, freak!
I can't fault him there.
~
Tyler makes a life-changing discovery.
Tyler: Did you know giraffes don't have vocal chords? So all these years I've been trying to figure out what sound a giraffe makes, and it doesn't make any sound. If they had one of those wheel things of the African savanna, giraffes wouldn't be on there.
All these years.
~
Random conversation with the girls.
Me: Can you imagine Tyler breakdancing?
I break out my best breakdancing moves.
Elise: You suck.
Me: What?!
Elise: At dancing!
Me: Like that makes it better?
Elise: I didn't say you suck.
Me: Yes, you did.
McKenzie: But not, like, ultimately at everything. Just dancing. Yeah, so it's almost a compliment. Turns to Elise. I got your back. They knuckle bump.
Yeah, almost.
~
I make a special request.
Me: Can you stop being weird?
Tyler: You spawned your children, you get the consequences.
Yeah, sometimes "spawned" seems an appropriate term.
McKenzie: Do old people take baths or showers?
Me: I don't know. What made you think of that?
McKenzie: I don't know.
Me: It probably depends on how well they can stand.
McKenzie: What if they had to use their walkers in the shower? Maybe some do...wrapped in plastic.
"Wrapped in plaaastic."
~
Watching Tears for Fears' Mad World video.
Me: Check out his hair.
Tyler: He's got, like, an ushanka on his head.
Me: What's an ushanka?
Tyler: A Russian hat. Come on, Mom, learn your hats!
Me: Where did you learn that?
Tyler: I don't know. I think it was on Dora or something.
Obviously, I'm not watching enough Dora.
~
Tyler makes an important announcement.
Tyler: OK, everyone, Elise is no longer a Sumsion. She's watching Jonas.
Not Jonas! Oh, where did we go wrong??
~
Family togetherness.
McKenzie: The tops of your feet are soft.
Tyler: Stop feeling me, freak!
I can't fault him there.
~
Tyler makes a life-changing discovery.
Tyler: Did you know giraffes don't have vocal chords? So all these years I've been trying to figure out what sound a giraffe makes, and it doesn't make any sound. If they had one of those wheel things of the African savanna, giraffes wouldn't be on there.
All these years.
~
Random conversation with the girls.
Me: Can you imagine Tyler breakdancing?
I break out my best breakdancing moves.
Elise: You suck.
Me: What?!
Elise: At dancing!
Me: Like that makes it better?
Elise: I didn't say you suck.
Me: Yes, you did.
McKenzie: But not, like, ultimately at everything. Just dancing. Yeah, so it's almost a compliment. Turns to Elise. I got your back. They knuckle bump.
Yeah, almost.
~
I make a special request.
Me: Can you stop being weird?
Tyler: You spawned your children, you get the consequences.
Yeah, sometimes "spawned" seems an appropriate term.
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