More random kid speak

Fairy Elisemother

Elise, waving her wand in my direction: Bibbidy-bobbidy-boo! Turn you into a mom that’s beautiful!
Me: Hey!
Elise: I said beautiful.
Me: So you’re saying I’m not already beautiful?
Elise: No, I’m pretending you’re an animal.
Me: Like in Cinderella when the fairy godmother turns the mice into coachmen?
Elise: Yeah.
Me: What kind of animal am I?
Elise: An elephant.

Hey!


Family togetherness

Kids overhear Nate and I discussing an article from the paper about a man beating his wife to death. (I know, terrible!)

Elise: I’m never going to beat up my husband. Dad, would you beat up Mom?
Dad: No, she beats me up.
Me: No, I don’t! When have I ever beat you up?
McKenzie: Do you beat him up with your words?
Tyler, snickering: Mom verbally abuses Dad.
Me: What?!

What?!


More family togetherness

Tyler: You can roast beef, but you can’t pea soup.
Elise: Tyler is the grossest person in this family.
McKenzie: He was adopted.
Tyler: Yeah, you were adopted.
Me: He wants to be adopted.
Nate: He’s from a hobo family.
Me: They dropped him off on our doorstep.
Nate: That’s why he’s obsessed with hobos.
Me: It’s in his blood.
Tyler: Yeah, it’s in my blood. Hobo instincts.

That’s my boy.


Bedtime.

Sydney, rubbing my arm: You have skin, Mom.
Me: Mm-hmm.
Sydney, pulling up her sleeve: Look, I have skin, too. See?
Me: Yep. Do you like skin?
Sydney: Yeah, I like skin. And chocolate milk.

Me too. I wouldn’t put them in my top 5 or anything, but hey.


Watching the playback of her Singstar session.

Elise: How is my voice that cute?

It is pretty cute.


McKenzie, belching in close proximity to my face.

Me: McKenzie!
McKenzie: It’s your fault. You borned me.

Oh yeah? Well, how’d ya like to be unborned?


Debating with Tyler.

Me: There’s no way you could ever get an entire fish taco lodged in your brain. How could you inhale a fish taco whole?
Tyler: Hey, I haven’t hit my growth spurt yet. Maybe I’ll have some kind of nostril disorder.

It’s my fault. I borned him.